Two phrases have been flooding my mind lately. Both are like storms brewing in my mind and both relevant to my world today and for many years to come.
Avoid adopting problems that
don't belong to you.
Sounds simple but it just isn't, not even close. When I adopt other's problems I start to feel buried under their weight. When I show compassion, I need to discern the difference between being there for someone and taking on their problems, feeling them as if they were mine. In my world, I feel a sense of responsibility. Sometimes I just can't escape that need to be right or helpful or in control. Sometimes I cannot (will not?) allow myself to admit I am angry or at a loss of options. Sometimes I can't reconcile helping and the negative feelings that go along with that. Pressure sneaks in as I try to live up to higher expectations than I have stamina for.
Which leads me to the second quote doing a continuous replay in my head.
I am finding that my balance often comes from writing this blog, it's therapeutic. Writing defines my determination and allows me to step back enough to have patience. In order to move forward through a life changing disease you MUST have both. patience and determination. If you are reading this and you are family or friend; you matter. You carry both Russ and myself through our days and we thank you.
Patience is the thread we need on a daily basis, Russ for me and me for him. Determination to do Parkinson's the best way we can requires patience. We forge forward, determined to do this together...til death do us part.