Durango has become so much more than my home or my endless love affair with Russ. More than any other place I have lived, the connections here became a piece of my heart; they know me and me them. I have been opened to things I never knew existed. I have been driven to be a better person, pushed to my depths and known wholeheartedly...from the beat of my heart to the pulse that drives me, to the energy and joy of my soul.
Eight friends came to help pack 71 boxes last Sunday. What an amazing gift! It was a day of constant movement, wrapping, taping, and stacking. It filled my heart to know I even had friends I could ask for help!
Knowing I could not say good-bye without tears, I wrote them a poem to share during our 'check-in' time. (and yes, a few tears slipped defenselessly down my cheeks and my voice quivered)
the power of sisters -
we are a sacred group
lifing one another in prayer
sharing a hug
a smile
our story
we are sisters of the heart
using our power
to offer compassion
i came
almost crumbling to the ground
you waited
you listened
you cared and loved
you sensed an inner strength
being swallowed from within
but you prayed
you gave
you waited
in our two years together
i gained strength along the way
i found some semblance of peace
and the ability to stand up
stand tall
face forward
and continue on
you bless me
each of you
i sing praise to you
you have helped me
build a cathedral of hope
from the splinters of my shattering
i bid you adieu
the glow in my heart
leaves in
peace
love
and hope
3 old ladies and a kid –
we bonded
age not being
the defining factor
isn’t it great to be an adult
and not be driven
by social norms
whether you are 70 or 33
friendship is available
3 old ladies and a kid
with our own gifts
own style
there to remind one another
to reach for your dreams
don’t settle
live them
breathe them
become them
because little by little
you can
you do
and we will be there
to cheer you on
I have been honored to participate in the class and call Sandy, Deen and JM my friends.
to JM and Kaiut Yoga...
think yoga –
now think kaiut yoga
my gift from jm this past year
being reminded
every moment
is a chance to honor yourself
each session
to choose
to seek an inner light
as i have wandered through
my own personal darkness
jm encouraged
find your inner flame
let it grow brighter
stronger
and ‘to be’
to seek relevance
to be casual
to find balance
believe in yourself
add to the strength of your body
the world
and in the doing
find
peace love hope
of self
you matter
to Deen and Sandy....
think yoga friends -
your presence matters
you gift me to stretch
to reach beyond the now
to find the patience to wait
to be open to change
to embrace a new world
to just be
with wholehearted attention
you gifted me
and i love you for it
peace love and hope
you matter
neighbors
come alongside one another
care for the children
care for one another
offer to help
show up to shovel
greet one another with a wave
a smile
encouragement
they are role models
by their actions
a visual to one another
they come forward
to be a friend
to be helpful
to show trust and respect
but the gift is that it is not forced
it is natural
and a reality of hope
making estancia
an amazing place to live
The thing about neighbors is that they are a gift, a blessing, a joy.
and Jerry's portraits of some of the guests...
julia –
dear sweet julia
friend
confidant
a most amazing person
a woman of compassion
who encourages you
to be who you are
not who others want you to be
showing you
when life is beyond you
to kneel down into the intensity
breathe in gratitude
pray
let the tears flow
energize your being
be present
and to trust in your journey
even when you don’t understand
thank you wise woman
I leave behind so many friends, so many memories, so much history. Through it all I am endlessly grateful for the lessons learned. During these past two years each person helped me to allow the sorrow and weight of life to enter, but also to let it shine in love. They taught me to remember how to dance with an open heart. In my darkest depths they reminded me to laugh from my light filled center. They modeled humility and shared the magic of gratitude. And always... to act in love and kindness in the midst of fear.
Each has gifted me...Russ would be proud of all of you. I am grateful.
Sometimes, most times, life is going to throw something at you when you're not looking and it's going to hit you straight in the face without warning. It will knock you down, take your heart and break it into pieces. And when that happens, you're gonna scream, cry, swear at the sky, ask why, and that's OK. Then you're gonna get up. You are always going to get up and start again, because you will learn that staying down means giving up part of yourself, and raising back up is you, gathering your pieces, claiming your crown and saying, "there's more where that came from... try me now."
I believe those words are me. They are about the journey that has brought me to the last two weeks of good-byes and my move to Tucson. I am grateful for finding the strength to stand up, to find a path through the tangled web. I owe the people in my life for 'saving me'. Thank you.