Really, only God can be the cause of a miracle, but informally, the word "miracle" is often used to characterize an event that is unlikely. Tell me, don't you usually hear that a house is behind schedule? We happily have a wonderful occurrence to celebrate, a house ahead of schedule. We have Emil, Jerry, Heather and a gazillion guys on many crews to thank for that!
And so we say good-bye to our life here in our beloved Bayfield home of 14 years on 10 acres, with forest, meadow & wildlife and look ahead to a new beginning in our Estancia house. For a while I was calling it the 'Lake House', due a low point in the yard filling with water, but now I just think of it as the 'Miracle House', thanks to Timberline Builders. We are in week 10 and they are working on tile! The gas fire place is up and running, the Lochinvar instant water heater is installed for the infloor heat, and window trim and baseboard in. Really, only God can be the cause of a miracle, but informally, the word "miracle" is often used to characterize an event that is unlikely. Tell me, don't you usually hear that a house is behind schedule? We happily have a wonderful occurrence to celebrate, a house ahead of schedule. We have Emil, Jerry, Heather and a gazillion guys on many crews to thank for that!
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What is your thought when you see those words? Do you fear that they may relate to you one day? Are you sad for those they apply to? Do you want to avoid them all together? Are you clueless? Having Parkinson's, or any disability, means being the "different" one in a crowd. It is something that often puts Russ at a disadvantage. His body now has a different set of 'rules' and he must respect those, doing life in new ways. Our role, as family, friends and 'the crowd', is to respect that and hopefully support and embrace and encourage those differences. He now accomplishes many tasks in a different manner, capitalizing on the strengths of his body and finding strategies to compensate for the parts no longer functioning. As we each go through our day we probably don't give a thought to the flow of getting from here to there. Our mind and body synchronize with one another without thought. We can do a 180 turn while reaching for the newspaper on the counter and start off towards the table to place that paper; all fluid and with no thought. Not so for Russ and so many with mobility issues. He has to break it down into tiny pieces doing each step as an individual movement and stabilizing in between. Movements we take for granted are skills Russ must now make mental strategies for and then practice repeatedly. I say this because we were both rather shocked the other day by an experience Russ had. This quote says it all... "I think there is a misconception that identifying as having a disability or being disabled means that you’ve given up, that you don’t see yourself as anything other than your illness or injury. This isn’t true." Here is what happened... Russ went to the gym to walk the track (flat, uncomplicated, no obstacles). He got out of his car and walked around the other side to get something from the front seat of the passengers side. He opened the door (NOT an easy move for him as he must back up as the door opens) and as the door opened a piece of paper flew out. He reached down to pick it up, lost his balance and was on the ground in a second. He was parked in an ADA parking spot, the kind that has a wide open area between cars. A man he had not noticed was sitting in the next car. The man opened his window and asked Russ if he was OK, if he needed help? Russ gave his usual response of 'I'll be fine, thank you for asking. It will take me a while, but I'll make it up eventually.' The man was fine with that until the piece of paper blew further away and he decided to get that for Russ while Russ focused on getting up. Here is where the quote comes in... The man opened his car door, assembled his wheelchair, lowered himself in and helped Russ! He gifted each of us with a vision of hope with living wholeheartedly with Parkinson's.
I am fairly certain that most of us have good opinions of ourselves, thinking we make good and kind choices. We probably think that on any given day we say kind words, think kind thoughts and do kind things. We focus on that and not on the moments or times when we are actually making some presumptuous statements or making assumptions. And yes…we all make assumptions. We do it all the time. These assumptions can be about pretty much anyone or anything. When we don’t really know, we make a guess based on our imagination, past experiences or wishful thinking. We make a guess that fits our immediate time and place. Many are just trivial assumptions, with no one being the wiser and some only embarrass us when we find out how 'off base' we are. For many of us our assumptions are just faulty. Here is my obvious observation: We are a culture of critics. We make assumptions about people by the way they dress, their behavior, their social standing, by the car they drive, the food they eat or if they exercise. And around here IF they exercise, what kind of exercise? That sounds petty, doesn’t it? But let’s face it, it’s our cultural reality. Look deeper and you KNOW what you see isn’t always what you get. Russ probably did not have the time to make a judgment when he fell in the Rec Center parking lot the other day. He was reaching down to pick up a piece of paper that flew out of the car and toppled over… a result of Parkinson's stability/mobility issues. Not only is it difficult for him to stop a fall, it is very hard to get up. As he lay there, the guy who happened to be sitting in the car next to his opened the window and asked if he needed help up. Russ assured him he would be able to get up… eventually (eventually being the operative word for someone with Atypical Parkinson's). The man wanted to be sure Russ was OK. He opened his door, removed his wheelchair, lowered himself into it and made sure Russ could get up.
Now if you had witnessed all or part of that scene, what assumptions might you have made? I am going with the end of the story, being grateful that a man with his own mobility issues has the gift of serving and being in a wheelchair did not stop him from reaching out. Pretty amazing how fast things are progressing. This week saw solar set up done, the house painted, and the walls taped and textured.
I can't tell you how many times I have taken a personality test. (note recent post about Myers-Briggs), but for most of my years I have been termed an extrovert. Now I vacillate between introvert and extrovert. My boss Jeff was the first person to help me understand that those terms relate to HOW you regenerate your energy, not necessarily that one is a 'wall flower' or the outgoing party girl. Now? Me? I am totally comfortable in crowds and groups of people I don't know. I walk right up, stick out my hand, introduce myself and ask them a personal question. Perhaps it's age that allows me to make an uncomfortable situation comfortable. When I was younger I would step back and see 'what are the expectations of this group?' I would try, using my experiential background, to fit result with expectation. It was uncomfortable, but with mother's social teachings I was able to muddle my way through. The question should really be how do I recover my energy? When I am feeling 'drawn', how do I regenerate? These days it's quiet, a book, cooking, nature, sitting on my deck and gazing out, being a party of 1. I have been a little worried about living in our new 'detached apartment'. I am absolutely loving the house, but it is in spitting distance of our neighbors. Having not had a neighbor in my adult life it's a tad concerning. I was given a gift the other day though. The development owns 20 private acres across the road and up into the woods. A new neighbor, Fred, has 'taken on' the area and it is now my new haven, my spot to regenerate. I am looking forward to snowshoeing the trail this winter. Take a look and tell me if you don't just find it a 'perfect' spot to regroup. Thank you Fred. The multiple crews brought the house to the next level this week. It is honestly hard to keep up from one visit to the next, but it's a house! They have now gone up and over with shingles! The week was a staggering mix of work crews. The house is sided! It's shingled! It's dry walled! The doors have been hung AND the walkways and driveway have been prepped. All this in one week. Here are the beginning of the week, end of week photos… last Friday to this Friday, today. At this point we need to focuse on landscape to take us through the winter. We had our first 'party' with dear friends who have helped in so many building projects here in Bayfield. I am hoping Jen will be able to help with landscape… Sharing our new home with friends…
Today a young mom from church died. You know how they say "She fought the fight til the very end". That was Kristen. She just loved her family so much she wanted every second possible to be with them. She wanted to carry her young boys smiles with her and her husband's strength and love. She wanted them to know she was fighting to stay. What is the measure of a life well spent? How do you know whether you are wasting your life or investing it in the things that really matter? Do you tell the most important people in your life, the most important things?
Some of us gage our worthiness by adventure or excitement or busyness or sheer activity. There are people who spend two weeks researching prices and customer satisfaction and performance data about a possible new car. But do those same people spend even a minute thinking about what their family or friends might say about their life when they are gone? Do they spend even a minute wondering if their neighbor needs encouragement, a listening ear or just spending a minute extending an unasked for kindness. I did not know Kristen except in passing, but word has it that she was extraordinary. She KNEW 'life was a gift' and did not take it for granted. She knew love was a verb, living out kindness, compassion, generosity, and understanding, So as I end this day I want to focus on intentional living. I want to look around and see what’s precious. Clear my head of all the little things that won’t matter down the line, when I'm looking back at all the times I cherished the most in life, and find a reason to make this moment one of them. I want to savor something, help someone with my given talents, to have 'enough' and share my 'enough' with others, and let myself truly enjoy the experience of doing it. A life well loved is a life well lived. Today reminded me to step out in love and to strive to make my life well spent. “We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama It staggers both of us how quickly our house is taking shape. We each have a lot of anticipation building, looking forward to far more suitable mobility paths for Russ. Last weekend we went down to Farmington, NM to take advantage of Labor Day sales. We bought a new bed, a desk for me and a porch table. I think we are set! It delights us each time we show up at the house and see such competent guys, all busy, all doing great work and the house moving along. This week?
PHEW! This week I decided to be bold and one of my guy treats for all those working on our house will be ginger cookies. I realize less folks crave ginger than chocolate, but I will see how this goes. We certainly like them and I hope someone will appreciate them. My point in plying each crew with treats is to 'remind' them that beyond their expertise, this is a house for people who need/want/appreciate their talents. It is the house they built for grateful people.
SPICEY GINDER COOKIES INGREDIENTS
We've all heard it, we've all said it.. it is just CRAZY BUSY! In your personal life it can mean overstretched, overbooked, and about to snap! But our builder Emil says on a job site crazy busy is exciting! We had two 'walk throughs' with Emil this week. Before we even got out of the car you could feel the energy. Trucks were parked up and down the road, guys seemed to be everywhere and no one was standing still. It was controlled frenetic movement. On Thursday there were four crews there at the same time….electricians, plumbers, gas fireplace guys and the guys delivering shingles to the roof. Through all this Emil, Russ and I walked. Week seven promises to be just as busy…framing/plumbing/electric inspections are set for Tuesday, insulation and drywall to start Wednesday
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