I know I am at fault for wanting people to respond exactly how I want them to respond. Now there's some false hope! I know when I reach out or share, I do so thinking they will 'get' what I need and respond accordingly. Parkinson's has shot that theory with a direct hit, forcing me to re-evaluate what I need from others. It took my counselor helping me to see that. What I wanted and needed is not what others were offering and I had to be OK with that, to accept it.
How do I cope with the distress in trying to preserve Russ' quality of life? How do we navigate the challenges that Parkinson's present? Serious health problems disrupt life and demand you to rethink your journey, your needs and your responses to others. Sometimes a wave of overwhelming emotion will hit one of us and that too must be addressed; we are always grateful when this doesn't happen simultaneously!
How we react to ourselves and what we expect others to do with our distress is the tricky part. Back to the opening quote, I don't want my control of our life to get in the way of people knowing we need them. In all the offers of help, there are just pieces of our daily life that are hard to share, be they too personal or perhaps embarrassing.
What I really need to remember is that there really is no 'right' or 'wrong' way for them to ask the question, for me to ask for help or for my response. We are all different so it is absolutely imperative for me to realize that we each think, feel and respond to illness differently. Some folks have a difficult time articulating their feelings and I need to respect that! We all process our health and the health issues others face differently. So what this all means is that I will try very hard to be better at listening, at accepting the way others process and respond and to be less judgmental. It is just that I get so caught up in making it through the day that I sometimes get lost in the minutia of coping.
"You've got to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you'll lose yourself every time."