a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired
In reaction to Russ' gentle demeanor, some wished he were more demonstrative or argumentative or did things their way. But Russ chose to be true to himself and how he thought his God given gifts directed him to be. Yes of course he was human and had his flaws, but his overriding character was a gift beyond measure for me.
As a young child in upstate New York from a Quaker family, he said to me "I tried to be good as gold and live into my parents expectations".
As a teen he said his father was the most influential person in his life. His father always knew his age and what was developmentally appropriate. He said his father showed him what love felt like. Russ showed me that every day for 43 years... even in times of confusion or hurt or indecision.
As a young college student he gave himself completely to friendships. To this day I get regular phone calls from those guys 'checking in'!
As a young married man with two amazing and fun kids, they had his heart, forever and ever. When I asked him if there was anything on his bucket list that he hadn't had time to do yet, he responded "All I can say is that I can't do those things now that I have Parkinson's. I am fortunate that I can imagine many wonderful times in my mind.
What a guy! He made me proud again and again in our years together. You know, the gift that keeps on giving? He was a gift to our neighbors as he tried to maintain every ounce of mobility by riding multiple laps around our neighborhood daily on his tricycle. All this time later, people still comment on his determination.
He was an inspiration to me (and all the care professionals who came into our lives) with each small good-bye. He never complained, but engaged wholeheartedly in all he could still do.
This past weekend at church, there was a guest preacher. Wade Griffith has a way of speaking to my heart and his message connected me with my thoughts on Russ and being so proud of him.
Towards the end of his sermon he said:
"The best way to be happy is to get out of yourself. We all have problems and one approach is to get out of yourself. The more I am down on myself in the weeds of 'me', the less I am aware of you and also the less happy I am. When I can be more attuned to you than me"... I find the freedom to flourish. He went on to say " We all have problems, you can choose to just live in those, to swim in those.. one approach is to put more interest in others."
I believe that was Russ. He tried to reach out to others, to listen, to not burden them with each of his small good-byes, but to live in truth. He wanted to see people and love them.
I am so darn proud of him and grateful to have shared all those years beside him.