My heart kicks into grief over and over as I see a certain place, read of a certain location, hear a shared song, catch sight of a loved photo, see a couple holding hands or wake alone again (and again) using only half the bed.
Of course after almost a year and a half, I have worked hard at accepting and moving forward. I hide most of my tears, but I do try to be 'real' in my verbal interactions with people. Just about everyone will have to deal with death at some point in their life. As much as I KNEW this truth, until I had to face watching Russ being carried from the house, it was never about me or about Russ... it was always about someone else.
What this person John was suggesting in his blog post was "Only those who mourrn the loss of someone they love deeply understand..." He went on to say that grief is perpetual, happening over and over in the most visual and subliminal ways. He challenged me to accept the fact that this is not a one year process, or even two years, but instead a lifetime. It is about day-to-day quiet anniversaries that are far more frequent.
So... when I drive by X-Rock, see a deer by the side of the road, consider the navigability of getting into a restaurant, go to an outdoor concert, 'count layers'. or any of the 1000s of things we did together, I need to accept them in love and remember... they were all part of us. I was blessed for 43 years and I am so very grateful. Sigh.