Asking tough questions isn't always that simple. I may be led to ask, but I have to be prepared for the answer. I may be told to 'mind your own business', 'I don't need your help or input', 'I am already overwhelmed, don't ask me to change',or 'why do you presume to know my job or how I feel'.
So just what does one do when they feel they need to ask a tough question? Of course there first has to be trust. I'm not naive, people are people, it's hard to hear tough stuff. It goes both ways, people ask me tough questions, they ask me to step up or to give more than I want to. I am not immune, you are not immune. No one does life perfectly. We just seem to think perfection is possible. Let us all get our heads out of the sand, let's not refuse to think about an unpleasant or difficult situation, hoping that it
will improve so that we will not have to deal with it. Build trust, lay blame aside, approach the situation with empathy and come prepared, if asked, to offer a suggestion or solution.
Life is not black or white. That may be hard to swallow, but the longer we think we have the only right answer, the longer fracture continues. Tough questions need to be asked. Sometimes I find just asking and letting it simmer is the best approach. Sometimes we must let a person (or ourselves) absorb the thought without intimidation; question asked... room for pondering... revisit later. For many of us, having time to ponder is the most important part. We can take the thought, mull it over and make it our own. We must allow others to build upon the idea in their own way, believing we are all working towards the same goal.
Now of course I am preaching to the choir, I like to ask tough questions, I like my answers, I like my approach. But alas, I know the truth, asking tough questions is not to get THE answer I want, but for clarity, alignment and working together for one agreed upon outcome. That is communication, faith, care and focus. We can do this...