I believe choice is not a moment to moment decision. I believe past choices shape who you become and impact the choices you make moving forward in life's journey. We get to choose how we attend to inconvenient truths.
Yesterday I smashed my head on the top edge of the car door as I was getting in. Yes it hurt, but mostly it made me feel sorry for myself. Part of my reason to move was to get away from that 'feel sorry' attitude...far away. My world has been uprooted (yes, my choice) but in that moment I 'chose' not to look beyond my immediate unhappiness. I knew I wasn't bleeding. I knew it hurt, but no lump was forming. It just felt so darn good to feel sorry for myself.
Ron and Gail woke me from my personal sympathies and helped me get on track, to be responsible, lighten up and stop acting like a child. I chose to put it in perspective.
sometimes it makes itself known
shows itself strongly
whirling around me
i think i am fine
until i’m not
then life appears
demanding me to see what is
to accept
my very own mix of life
to accept its sharing
even though it all looks different to me
if i stoop low
inspect
engage
i see what i face
my new world
looking different
but mine all the same
begging me to understand