I am certain that in every marriage, relationship, work situation and friendship there are times of disagreement. I am fairly certain you don't believe every editorial columnnist's opinion. I am fairly certain we each had a moment of 'really, you think that?" in our last week. I am faily certain disagreement is unsettling. I am totally certain that Russ and I are on a different path when it comes to dealing with Parkinson's. The good news is that he is amazing and gifts me each day with his overflowing and realistically strong approach to living with Parkinson's. He gifts me with his love.
My nature, and I believe the nature of most (many?) people is to anticipate what a person says or feels and often times respond before actually 'hearing'.
For each of us there are components of saddness, anger and fear, but we seem to live them out differently. Russ is very quiet, stoic. EVERYTHING seems to come out of my mouth! My worry in "What's your game plan today? Have everything you need?" My fear comes in a fairly loud admonishment to "belly up" to his walker so he is not stretched out looking as though a face plant is eminent. My saddness is occasioinal uncontrolable tears of frustration that I am not the caring, supportive spouse he needs. And the tears can be fear with no other escape.
Try as I do, I differ in my opinions and my response to Parkinson's with Russ. Who knows why Russ has Parkinson's, that is a mute point. But how I respond and what I do with my opinions is paramont. I believe we all have a call, a gift in life. My role is not Russ' role. I can't let my thinking divert us on this Parkinson's path to a point of my way vs. your way. On those occasions when I 'loose it' to saddness or fear, I need to reconnect with differing opinions. We don't have to view the situation the same, holding one another up in our varied opinioins. We just need to allow an acknowledgment to surface that we are different. We love one another. We 'are there' for one another. We care. We support. We matter. When I lay my head down at the end of the day, I need to reflect on team, love, care, hope, and faith.