Those early 20s were fun filled years and I am grateful for the perspective they allowed into my life, but I am so glad for Russ, our commitment to one another, our partnership and the life's path it led me to.
Consider my youth and doing life away from home for the first time, making my own choices and learning how to 'do life'.
Who was I?
I was the school teacher who wore ripped and/or holy jeans. I liked tie-die, Indian prints, long skirts and sandals. I was always clean, but sporting an image my parents would have been horrified to witness. Not one administrator in my early years of teaching every called me on my dress style. The only person to do that was Honey Saltzman, owner of a remnant furniture fabric store where I worked. "You will NOT come to work dressed like that! You may have one garment of material at a time and I want to approve the pattern you choose." So for the couple of years I worked for Honey, I walked around looking like an upholstered couch or chair. Maybe that was a subliminal push to figure out how I wanted to move forward in life? Did I always want to be a bit of a renegade or could I meld my upbringing with my independent values?
And what memories do I have from that time and place?
- I could pluck a turkey and chicken (believe me... it's a gross experience)
- I lived in a log cabin
- I had only cold spring water
- There was no shower... I stood on a big stump and poured warm water from a kettle over my head
- The cabin was heat totally with wood, requiring that I bring wood into the cabin once a week
- There was an outhouse
- I learned to fish brooks, extending the food budget.
- I had a large garden and grew all my vegetables for the year... freezing and canning
- I started with a wringer washer on the front porch and graduated to the laundromat
- I never did hunt, but I did learn to dress a deer
- The driveway was steep, long and inaccessible in winter. I used a work tabaggon to cart things up and down to my parked car below.
- My first teaching job paid $3000/yr so I learned to be very frugal
- I raised goats, rabbits, and chickens for food.
- I could milk a goat and make both cheese and yogurt
During this time I was married to my first husband. It was a tough time in my life and what I wanted to do more than anything was hide. My husband was a bit of a recluse so the hippy life and working every waking hour to survive worked just fine... until it didn't.
But I am grateful for those years. There are so many things I know I could do again if I had to. Yes, I prefer Farmer's Market to growing my own vegetables. Yes, I prefer to buy my meat than raise and slaughter it. Yes, I like turning on the faucet and getting hot water. And yes, I much prefer an indoor toilet to an outhouse in the wee hours of a cold, frosty, winter night. The lessons of those years taught me about determination, about commitment. I learned how important it is to invest in the journey and learn from life's lessons. It all led me, finally, to learn that I was never owed a living or happiness, that was mine to make.
the wrong path -
i lost track
of me
a focus
a hope
i forgot my principles
and went wandering
a bit too far
but found the path back
in celebration of those years...
hallelujah