The implication to that scenario is that there IS a common norm within families, friendships, social interactions or the job world. It implies that anyone who steps away from those norms is weird or odd.
On a surface level we can admit that someone else may be struggling and we might be willing to reach out to them, but goodness it's hard to make a move to admit you need help or that you are making a conscious choice to be different. I had become a misfit in my job as far as staff culture and direction were concerned. Our lives are in constant change mode; my life's story has taught me that full force, head on. It has been continuous change, slamming into me so many times that my story exemplifies my normal as 'change and regroup'. There is no right or wrong to a story, but our culture suggests there is.
In being a misfit, I was not wrong, they were not wrong. It was opportunity, a win-win for both of us. In any situation someone must take the lead. That was me in this instance, I was not afraid to change my personal focus. My story of 68 years has shown me multiple times that life is short and we must make ourselves available to opportunity. We must do this wholeheartedly and honestly. I decided to take the leap of faith and yet again change my world.
My story doesn't make me weak, it makes me human. I was able to garner my personal history, my defining moments and choose a response to embrace my belief of being a staff misfit. Again, not a bad thing, just an honest one. I served in faith and love in my position for 13+ years. Almost subliminally a new culture was born and I found myself dancing on the periphery; it was uncomfortable in a rather conspicuous way. More and more I felt set apart, out of step and not able to keep up with the new way of doing things. And at the base of that epiphany came the realization that I didn't have to! I had to trust in the hard decision to resign. Because of my story I know from deep within that the hardest moments give way to some brilliant breakthroughs.
Every.
Single.
Time.
I slowly began to comprehend that it was OK for me to take up arms with a new language and a new cause. It could be filled with peace, love and joy. I knew in my heart who I was and I needed to honor myself by taking the honest road, the road I was meant to travel at this time in my life. The people around me helped me to see I was blessed and to understand and realize the mystery of change. My friends gave me encouragement and permission to be me.
In our lives, people come and people go. These days I feel surrounded in love. People call to check in. I get emails. Friends to walk with and friends to eat lunch with. Friends who pray for me, friends who hug, friends who share.
They remind me to:
Breathe.
Reflect.
And be.
They remind me to:
Be you.
Choose gratitude, love and care.
Three work friends have walked with me for years. They tell me to trust the reflection of what I see in myself. They tell me to trust the person I am becoming. They help me to believe in goodness and to be patient when I find myself in a hard place or moment.
It was a true gift to share brunch with these wonderful friends, the stronghold of normal. We are all so differently normal! We all have a story that makes us so.