Seeing all those smiles makes me want to smile and I am very sure he would want me to...he told me just that, many times, during the last year. I have had to give thought to how that might happen for me. It's hard. I have initiated an early morning 'plan' of devotion, journal, spin or yoga and then a slow push into my day and that has helped. I am trying to walk with friends. I have snow shoed. I am in a wonderful small group. My world is expanding slowly; not berceuse I want it to, but because I can't spend all my time crying.
People have been so caring, so patient and I am grateful! Again yesterday I cried mid sentence. I was on a zoom meeting with many folks I didn't even know and my eyes started to leak. I am so proud of Russ and how he managed and something someone said pushed a bit too hard on my heart. Each of those people were gentle. They understood that I will know when I am in the right place emotionally, because I will feel like I'm home.