And how you might ask, does that relate to our new house in week 16? Well, I have been surrounded for the last 15 weeks with competent professionals of all sorts who are organized and know how to get things done. They have known their job and executed it with precision, professionalism and integrity. I have had to be involved very little, but when you see such organization, 'the dance' as Jerry calls it, you want to emulate it.
At the house this week we saw more of the punch list reduced:
- crown molding on the kitchen cupboards
- porch cap on the railing
- touch up painting
- last solar panel installed
It was also our 'Packing Party' on Thursday which meant I needed to be organized. It meant I needed to have an actual plan that was 'available' to everyone as they showed up. It meant I had to 'give up control'. I would give some direction and let it be. Sigh. ( I do think that is my very favorite word of late.)
Knowing my need to be in control and organized, my 'inner critic' appeared suggesting it was impossible given my week. I worked my way through the house using stickies and labeling doors, drawers, wall art and closets.... I wanted the flurry of people to 'see' what needed to be packed if I were not available.
Our real estate company has two huge box trucks they loan out to clients who are moving. Isn't that nice of them? Yet another perk of working with Wells Group. I reserved one for Boxing Day and went down early Thursday morning to pick it up. Talk about self-talk and self-intimidation escalating into full storm mode!
Please note the distance between trucks and distance between truck #2 and the gate (the gate is barely visible, but believe me, it's there). Enter self-intimidation. Given the time I had during the past week to get organized, I was as prepared as I could be for our friends to show up, but there was plenty of self-talk surfacing about what I had failed to accomplish.
I needed to silence my inner critic BEFORE trying to back out the hulk of a truck. I needed to focus. Yes I was stressed, tired and a bit on edge, but at this moment I needed to tweak my seismic disruption of 'peace' and focus on getting this baby backed up from the insanely tight spot without hitting any one of the 12 neatly parked cars in the lot. Again... sigh.
So...literally sidling sideways, I scooted between the 2 trucks to get to the drivers door; I had to hoist myself into the drivers seat. Perhaps if it had been in a wide open lot I would have been a bit more confident. Instead, inside my head there was a steady reel of destructive self-intimidation...What had I gotten myself into?
Feeling pressure to perform and get this baby back to the house, I put on my big girl pants and started the engine. All's good. Then put the truck into reverse... oh no, there was an eruption of back up beeps! Guess with the size of the truck I should have figured on that.
Time to change my approach. I can do this. It took 4 times putting the truck in park, jumping down to check distances, back up in the cab, make an adjustment and I finally was able to get out of the lot. No near misses, no problems. Just a change of attitude and approach. And of course from the moment I got it out of the lot I made certain that I only went forward.
And that is the new direction that 392 Estancia Loop gives us. A house for going forward. A house that offers us forward momentum. A house that allows us to change our approach to life with Parkinson's. And all that is thanks to the people in our life who have gotten us to week 16.