SHARE THE SAME UMBRELLA AND WEATHER THE STORM!
Our life is altered, but we can still wake together each morning and have dinner at the dining table each evening. I admit that I miss how things were, but the reality is that we have to accept how things are now and move forward. Even for me, as an observer of Parkinson's Disease, I think of Russ' plight, not imagining I will ever struggle so. But that's the beauty of life isn't it, it's unpredictable, it changes, and we become transformed through the change. Difficult times come at some point into everyone's life, and for us, now, they are Russ'. I am working on cultivating acceptance. Challenge is not easy to embrace when someone is suffering, when you both want your old life back. Though hard (what a puny word!) we need to accept rather than resist. And that old adage 'when at first you don't succeed.... try, try again' is the way we live, trying again when we fall short.
I am not suggesting we are giving up and giving in. I am suggesting that by accepting our changed world through Parkinson's we can then build a foundation for our choices and then make an action plan based on truth. We dip our toes in the sea Parkinson's symptoms and search for the best solutions for us.
Our week of ER and doctors visits is a mere blip on our road map. With each experience we improve our approach and grasp at the thread of improved communication. I regularly have to remind myself that we are responsible to each other but not for each other. I am sure many spouses feel that way and I am fairly certain those lines get blurred on and off through life. Seeing Russ on a gurney, being loaded into an ambulance made me feel responsible 'for' him... perhaps blurred by my tears.