I had a small epiphany the other day, realizing that some of my realities about Parkinson's were all twisted up. Russ is doing amazing things as his mobility catapults towards stillness. I seem to be avoiding being vulnerable and holding in my emotions until they spill over unexpectedly and uncontrollably. My paradigm is dismantling and I am holding fast to old energy, not wanting to keep up as my soul is uprooted and forcing me to see the world, our world, my world, in a new light.
I have lately been flogged with 'the positive'. It has come through books, articles, Jeff's sermon series, movies and blog posts. If we focus on all the things not working for us, we are going to feel broken because the world appears to be filled with broken things. Conversely, if we choose to focus on the people we love, the caring people in our lives, the beauty surrounding us, then we will feel connected, capable and reaching towards happiness. We will have days that reflect gratitude rather than defeat; our reality will shift.
I am hanging on, trying to be a better person. Thank God Russ is so understanding. With the passage of time, the shift is happening one day at a time.