I was speaking with my amazing banker, financial advisor, yesterday about some changes that need to be made as a result of updating my will and trust to AZ law. In a passing comment of our 'catching up' conversation, he mentioned his mom's term 'the organ recital' in reference to aging friends. I LOVE IT! That one small sippet phrase spoke of the anxious time our senior years can be. (given Dave's age, his mom is likely far younger than I). We all 'do' sick, age, and transition through life differently. There is no one right way. The future is determined by our heart, our honestly, our hope and our resolve to make each day the best it can be in our world. No matter our physical state, we do have choice.
In thinking about her thought of 'the organ recital', where I am since Russ' death, how my family is fairing, my move... well, my world actually... here is what I think about my own organ recital.
the organ recital -
uneven aging
a bit of a wallow
a competition for some
the path of
i hurt more than you
discussion of life’s fagility
it can be so tiring
an early funeral of sorts
an organ recital
practice
a recital in preparation
i had a laugh today
talking with a friend
his mom is distressed by the endless
chatter about health
among her friends
who is in the most pain
who takes the most meds
who has the most doctor’s appointments
she calls it the organ recital
how fitting
in my redo of my will and trust
my chatter has been the same
my ‘recital’
of ‘after’
the follow-up
to put away my trappings on this planet
family and friends aging
just as i am
illness makes us feel vulnerable
shaky
but an endless organ recital
the constant complaining
the cry for support
can wear down the spirit
of others and ourselves
but “don’t complain, just deal”
is not my answer
a morning recital is fine
but then
let the choir sing
moving your day into a crescendo
And as Bill Staines wrote in his children's song "All God's Critters Have a Place in the Choir::
Everybody here is a part of the plan
We all get to play in the great critter band
From the eagle in the sky to the whale in the sea
It’s one great symphony
All God's critters have a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, or paws or anything they got now