College:
One would think that school and homework would have been greatly watched over since the expectation was a college degree. I had a desk in my room, but daily (weekly?) checks on homework were not included with the desk. The desk was the subliminal message of the end result expectation.
Success:
I felt success was an expectation in my family. Not too much instruction, more of a keep up with the Jones format. To be successful you have a big house, nice things and everything looks pretty. To be successful you have polite kids who go to the 'right' functions, go to college and have a good and successful career. To be successful was a visual thing, nothing to do with one's soul.
Society:
Here is the part that interests me right now. I was the black sheep when it came to joining society. I did my bit by going to dancing school from 4th grade through high school. I did the weekly 'dress up' white gloves and all. I actually thoroughly enjoyed these lessons. It was when it came embroiled with elbow length glove, cotillions and the finer expectations of joining Junior League that I began to baulk . I absolutely did not want others telling me my goals and aspirations. Fancy 1972, student teaching during college, dressed in a Vicaro top (quite trendy) and ripped jeans which were 2 sizes too big and no less than 50 colorful patches with raw edges. The patches weren't hemmed so there were dangling threads. My parents would have been appalled but I was proud, proud, proud of the look! I knew I would not be welcomed at home looking so, but I felt free.
What does all this mean? How might this help me live authentically with a man I love who has Parkinson's? I think it means that we each know our path. It means we each know life is not always what we plan, but we can bring honor and truth to the unfolding. Life has a way of outside influence annoyingly changing a path. Sometimes we have control over that and other times we don't.
My transition from gown and elbow length gloves to a clean but messy hippy is the path I chose in my 20s. Inside I have kept the authentic part of 'society', tamped it down considerably and became me. With the hippy years thrown in, I am comfortable in a wide range of situations and feel neither inferior or superior to others. I strive to be authentic and not who someone else wants me to be. Of course we all have a back-story, my parents being no different. I am not belittling their choices in how to raise children, just that I am comfortable with my chosen path.
As Jeff will probably said during this sermon series, as he does in many; when we get to the end of our lives, do we have regrets about the choices we have made. Well yes... I do... but right now, today, I am at peace with the 'big stuff' and grapple daily with the 'little stuff'. Little by little I strive to erase the gap between what I believe on the inside and what I reveal on the outside to the world.