FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Russ is changing. HIs thinking pattern is changing. HIs memory is disappearing. "What road are we on?" "Who is that?" Both questions from yesterday and both things he 'had' known for the18 years we have lived here.
I was wondering about sundowning and came upon this thought: "Think back to the last time you were sick. Chances are you wanted to be surrounded by comforting thoughts, things, and people." A mind opening thought for each new day in our house.
Peace be with you.
I have been sick for over a week now. I honestly can't recall the last time I was sick; I would say it has been well over 10 years. Perhaps 20 years of hanging out with little kids in a classroom has gifted me with enough stamina and virus fortitude to bypass the common cold. Not this year though. I was slammed and it draws out the uglies. It tamps down my usual ability to choose, and instead I react. I'm sorry to the people in my life who have had to deal with me.
In general I think being independent means I have enough self-confidence without having to rely on others or society at large for validation. It means I have the energy to choose healthy relationships and the willingness to express myself to those individuals. I try to be my own person and not fit a specific mold. Of course that sometimes is in conflict with a group and there I must make a choice, a decision about what matters to me.
How does that relate to being sick? All those independent attributes were stripped from my being for a few days. Instead I plodded through the day, barely managing to get the necessary things done and needing a bit more coddling and approval than usual.
The end of the story is I made it through. I am better and moving back to being a 'strong independent woman'. And the journey continues.