My growing up birthdays were family, presents and cake; they were a very big deal. With a family of 8 you can sometimes become the shadow, the person only half seen. Sometimes with 8, the emotions of others cast the focus on family dynamics making visible the hard truths of life. With so many kids you were often the center or the shadow, the voice or the song, in control or being controlled. Mom knew the importance of self confidence and made sure I felt empowered, using my gifts and not shying from my passions because of peer pressure or the expectations of others. My tears became her call to action and birthdays were just a tiny piece of that plan. She made birthdays all about you. It was your one day in the year 'to have it my way'! It was pamper, party and presents. It was her presence along with the family.
Now? This week? It is friends. Friends gathered for a larger than usual celebration for Russ last week. Young friends Lauren and Ely invited us to dinner at our house (they live in a small house with two huge dogs and felt we would be more comfortable here). Neighbors Pattie and Rod come for dinner last night. Lunch out with Nancy and Kathy this coming week. Our phones and both our actual mailbox and our email boxes have held notes of love, care and birthday wishes. What could be better? And perhaps it is the care that Mom gave to birthdays all those years ago that make me know I don't need huge hoopla, just your care and presence.