Those poor kids came in through the door at such a disadvantage; all I knew about teaching 9 and 10 year olds was what MacMillian Publishing told me I needed to teach. I went down the line and bought their texts... math, reading, grammar, social studies, science. I scavenged from the school storage closet absolutely anything I thought might give us all a chance at academic success. The part I neglected to consider was the social behavior of this age group. OK, 1972. Kids rode the bus to school, some for an hour each way. This was a rural community of hard working folks. Some had no indoor plumbing, some had travelled the world. One family of 5 girls lived in a camper and hauled water from a brook. One family lived in a house with no windows, only plastic to keep up the winter cold. Few had home computers and many had only one parent working.
One young man was my challenge of the year. That word is C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E!!!! He lived in the impoverished house with no windows, a very mean dad, an overwhelmed mom and general desperation as a daily companion. My introduction to Bobby was walking in the classroom door early in the school year to this tough little guy wielding a handful of pointed scissors and heaving them at my head. I deflected them and there were no bloody consequences, but it presented a heartache for both of us. What was I supposed to do with this behavior? How were we to spend the year growing into a good citizen and a good teacher? How was I to cope? Do 3rd graders get expelled?
I did what any first time teacher would do of course.... grasp at anything. I decided than and there that our theme for the year was going to be FRIENDSHIP. The ideas of care, serving, loyalty, kindness and friendship invaded all we did for the entire year.
One small piece of that was collecting Friendship Rocks. A friendship rock is any rock that has a continuous line all the way around it--an unending circle, like true friendship. You'd give one to your friend to carry in their pocket, like a secret.
Someone once said the greatest therapy is friendship and love... that was true for our class. We did end our school year civil, friendly, caring and with hundreds of pounds of rocks surrounding us.
One visual I remember from that year is Bobby getting off the bus. Their home was by a brook and he would spend hours searching for the perfect rock. As the year moved on, his rocks got bigger and bigger and he would often trudge down the steps of the school bus with a bolder hung low from his skinny little body because of it's heft. He'd know it would 'pass the test' and could be added to the collection so his smile was infectious.
I was walking the River Trail with my friend Chris the other day and saw this...
Addendum:
That little boy grew so much that year! I often wonder where life took him. At the end of the school year his mother presented me with the ugliest, most cherished gift, an afghan of many colors, probably made from yarn salvaged from many sweaters. A testament to friendship.