My move to Tucson threw me face first into the ocean of turbulent change, tossing me relentlessly and forcing me to learn again how to swim at an angle towards shore. Sometimes I have I had to don my life jacket, jump in, and learn how to swim. I had to decide (literally decide) to 'do' new and difficult things on my own, to learn to stay afloat as a wave crashed on me. Everyone has to face up to hard truths at some point in their life - I'm no different.
Last night I went to a bar (!!!) alone (!!!) to see a friend's band play. I am taking line dancing lessons. I volunteer at a Parkinson's gym. I have been out to lunch, alone, twice. I found a church that suits me. I joined a grief group. I volunteered at a city wide book festival. All these things were a bit uncomfortable, but I chose to do it anyway. As my email signature says these days: Sometimes fear does not subside and one must choose to do it afraid. Elisabeth Elliot
Change is easier when it begins within your comfort zone. My first couple of months here I had to find and then settle into a place of comfort, elusive as it was... Gratefully I lived with Ron & Gail and from their world I could gently reach into the unknown. It allowed me to feel secure in their space before I had to settle into my own.
I appreciated the feeling of safety and familiar as well as the gift of time so that I could motivate myself to do the hard work of buying a house, acclimating to Tucson and begin to find peace in all things new. That all took willpower and a change in my mindset. It forced me to accept my anxious feelings of future uncertainty; it forced me to dig deep and step forward, scooping in concerted breaths; breathing in hope and breathing out reluctance. I can do this!