Sometimes accepting that love and care is done with great difficulty on my part and sometimes grace wins as it is closer to how I do things. In dealing with illness I learned that my way is not your way is not their way. I can't use my experiential background to problem solve and expect someone else to choose the same path; It doesn't happen that way. I did however get stuck in that rut many times. I was so focused on how I was processing my/our pain that I wasn't open to another way or perhaps I just had no energy beyond my initial path. I have definitely learned from our experience and gotten better, but that doesn't mean it's always easy.
I am aware that managing a chronic illness can be daunting and sometimes even feels impossible. Daily life can get in the way of disease management. But in the course of our journey I have learned that we need to be in control of our own path, use our own self-confidence to forge forward. Fortunately, Russ and I used a team approach making decisions together which then translated to others. And though we were most often comfortable with our chosen path, we needed to be gracious and even consider suggestions from others, it might be a far better plan!
I read a piece in the book I am currently reading: Flight Girls by Noelle Salazar.
It spoke to this thought...
"I sat for a long while on my bed after I returned her letter to its envelope, wondering about life and the way we each react to a set of circumstances. How some of us stay the path, others remain tormented, letting pain devour them; and still others find a new route - different from the original - but somehow just as satisfying."
I think that is all about me, about those suffering from an illness, about caregivers and definitely about all humans in their interpersonal relationships. It is astonishing how we can only see 'our way' and it takes a huge amount of practice to pause long enough to consider where others might be coming from. We are all dancing, but our tunes are different.
When we genuinely disagree with someone, how can we support them in grace? Is it considered a dance only when we enjoy the same music?
Which reminds me of a song I used to sing with the kids in my 1st grade class: (yes, before I could no longer bring the word God into the classroom)
"All God's critters have a place in the choir
Some sing low and some sing higher
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire
And some just clap their hands, their paws or anything they've got now..."
It's an old Peter, Paul and Mary song and parallels the theme here. None of us have the only answer, the only approach, the only solution. We all have a voice in problem solving, in organization, in our approach to the journey set before us. So whether it is illness, a job interview, a disagreement with a neighbor, or how we will tackle the last pitch of a hike, we all have a voice and we should have the grace to listen and accept that there just might be another way.
Hard sometimes? Yes. Possible? Yes. I'm trying...