Minding your manners used to be pretty straightforward. Now when I google the topic I get more hits for digital manners than human social interactions. So how do I navigate this new world? And what of all the 'rules' I was taught growing up, do they no longer matter? Are they somehow chopped, blended and made new? Are life's little niceties no longer the norm, no longer needed?
For years they have been saying books will all become digital and that no one will want to hold an actual book. That hasn't happened. There is something about print that most can't give up. There is something about holding a book in your hand and the visceral act of turning a page that captures one's attention. That is not to say that e-books aren't wonderful, but at least for now, both are of this world.
I contend the same needs to be said for old-fashioned face to face manners. We need civility. A parent asked her 4 year old to speak up when talking to me yesterday. She said Linda asked you a question, please respond. That made me wonder: What might my list include of societies personal niceties. What are relevant common courtesies for todays world?
- stand when a new person joins the party
- hold a door for someone
- write thank you notes
- use a firm hand shake and look a person in the eye when introduced
- cough into you bent elbow so your hand does not spread germs
- return borrowed items promptly
- be punctual
- clean up after yourself
- leave a home you are staying in cleaner than how you found it
- return a dish (pie plate, casserole) with something in it as thanks
- be a helpful guest
- respond to party invitations
- chew with your mouth closed
- use your napkin
- apologize when you have done something wrong
- offer elders your seat
- It is always a polite direction to ask the other person a personal question... how are your kids, how is your golf game....
And the hardest for me...
- Conversation is as much about listening politely as in talking. Keep eye contact with the speaker and try not to be gazing about.