I was so lucky (i.e. fortunate) to be able to have one on one time with everyone but Nan. (I'm sorry Nan that eye surgery got in the way of connecting. Thanks for making a huge effort to join in the zoom call!) With each visit I learned something important; something about the individual, something about family, something about life's journey.
staring in the mirror –
i had the time
i came
i came east
leaving the heat
joining the world of humidity
visiting family
returning
they are a part of me
but
it’s so hard
to share my own weaknesses
my years of caregiving
shone light on life’s fragile side
but with this trip
i wanted to fill my listening with heartfelt hearing
i wanted to offer thoughts
with no need to control
i wanted to teach
it is possible not to give up
it is possible to hold on to the knowing
i wanted my heart
to be in a place where god dances
ah yes
those are my wants
turn away from the mirror linda
watch
listen
learn about their humanness
truly love
truly give
on their terms
not yours
i wanted
to come to the edge
of their world
to stand on their ground
alas
there were moments
it was the best i could do
trying
to sit still
to let the waves wash over me
visiting family
returning
they are a part of me
Well, I did try. I feel as though my trip gifted me in love. I appreciate family welcoming me into their homes, showering me with care. MY hope had been to do that for them, but I had to be OK with the reverse.
I will be back.