Today I began my day signing on with a personal trainer. It is time to take control of my aging, sad, and underused body. Then a trip to the Social Security Office... the joy of my aging and keeping 'the system' updated. It was both ends of the spectrum, in and out control, in and out of wanting to face life's challenges.
It has become part of my world to be as busy as possible. But expressing my feelings in words makes them real and that reality can hollow me out. I find the antidote to hollowness is activity and that activity softens the edges of my day. So whether it is hiring a trainer or going to the Social Security Office, the engagement reminds me to look beyond myself.
my world –
sometimes overwhelming
sometimes calm
sometimes a joy
and sometimes desperate
it requires strength
to live in the moments
allowing the feelings
to be mine
waking my heart
to their realness
the quality of my emotions
a rolling surf
slamming the shores edge
(my head and heart)
before softening
dissipating
easing me
a thrumming reminder
of the goodness
that surrounds me