"Good-ish". It is my reality; not great, not at my peak happy, but moving forward.
People aren't always comfortable with the truth. I am not sure if they fear my truth will hurt them or if they fear in acknowledging their own truth that it might bring distress and anxiety into their lives. Perhaps they prefer 'pretend' because it is prettier and easier to handle. Perhaps 'pretend' can be shown on social media whereas no one wants to see tears, frustration, confusion, worry, or fear.
When I hear a song that speaks to my heart in a given emotional moment, I begin hearing it daily, almost like a shout to 'pay attention!' There is truth inside of me and it can be both soulful and inspiring. Sometimes a song will shout for me to face my reality. I wrote a piece (9-21-19) about such a song: "God Only Knows". From my first time listening to this song, sung by King and Country, I felt its reality in my soul. It is the same with "Truth Be Told" by Matthew West. I completely understand all the lyrics to this song, they speak to me this week, this month, along this journey called Parkinson's. They speak to me in a very profound way since Russ' death.
Truth Be Told
Lie number one: You're supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you're doin', just smile and tell them, "Never better"
Lie number two: Everybody's life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
But truth be told
The truth is rarely told, no...
I say, "I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine, oh, I'm fine, hey, I'm fine"
But I'm not, I'm broken
And when it's out of control I say it's under control
But it's not and You know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When bein' honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin You don't already know
So let the truth be told
The day I first heard this song I was painting a bedroom wall. I had to stop and just listen. Then I went to my laptop and found it on Youtube and let it play on repeat... I listened for an hour. Have you ever done that with a song? It was a reminder to me that saying "I'm good-ish was the truth, not the pretty social media version, but my reality. That actually gives me faith, being vulnerable and being able to speak my truth.
Do you have a song that lifts you up and encourages you with action and truth?