It is time for me to have a bit of happy talk. It is time to crawl my way out of my black cloud, to creep towards the light. As I thought what to title this post, Happy Talk came to mind, a song we would sing gathered around the Winemiller's piano.
Happy talk, keep talking happy talk
Talk about things you like to do
You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?
I happy talked my way into some cooking today. I made pistachio muffins and now am onto the dinner menu of Greek Chicken and Potatoes. It has definitely helped me move towards the light. I have turned down 2 social events in one weekend and allowed myself time to mourn. Russ does things, says thing, negates things, ignores things in ways that are 'not him'. Of course in reality they are him now, I just haven't caught up to his brain changes. There are things he says or does that he has no control over. It breaks my heart and most often I can accept the fact. But for the last few days I have not had the ability to draw on that attitude. He is not the man I have been living with for 42+ years.
That attitude needs to change though. It is time to choose kindness and put my needs aside; it is time to surface. This will not be instantaneous, but by crawling forward I am hoping to return to work on Monday in a good frame of mind.
One way to accomplish that is to cook, something that has always been my 'go to' for relaxing. First Pistachio cupcakes with strawberry drizzle, then a new chicken recipe and today an apple pie for Russ' 83 birthday on Tuesday. That should do it. So what does the chicken dinner look like?
Ingredients
- 2 lemons
- 3 cloves garlic, smashed
- 1 tsp. dried oregano
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 5 or 6 chicken thighs or the equivalent
- 1/2+ pound small red potatoes, quartered
- 1 shallot, cut into ½-in. wedges
- 1 tablespoon kosher salt, divided
- 1 pound Broccoli, trimmed (or carrots, beans, asparagus)
- 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
How to Make It
Step 1
Preheat oven to 450°F. Squeeze juice from 2 lemons to equal 1/4cup; add to a large bowl. Cut remaining lemon into wedges and add to bowl along with garlic, oregano, and 1/4 cup oil. Add chicken, spooning marinade over chicken; let sit for at least 15 minutes.
Step 2
Toss together potatoes, onion, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1 tablespoon oil in a large bowl. Transfer to a large baking sheet and roast until just beginning to brown, 10 to 15 minutes.
Step 3
Toss together Broccoli and remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a large bowl. Transfer to baking sheet with potatoes and toss to combine. Arrange chicken mixture on baking sheet in a single layer (discard marinade); season with pepper and remaining 2 teaspoons salt. Bake until chicken is cooked through and Broccoli is browned, about 30 minutes.
My last couple of days have been filled with both rage and sadness. At first it was all directed at Russ, but with some reflection and the understanding that we have a wide rage of feelings to choose from, I realized it should really be directed at the disease. I know suppression of my anger is not healthy. So I chose to calm myself with some cooking, a reality check in what Russ can and can't control and a very good meal.
As Pastor Jeff says, anger & resentment are like taking a poison pill and expecting someone else to die.
So onward towards a smiling heart. Bon Appetite, enjoy chicken and potatoes!