The whole concept is problematic of my efforts to keep up with Parkinson's and Russ safety. I tell him how to do something because in my mind it is THE safe way or THE easy way or THE right way. Probably the majority of that is based in fear. For me it is fear for his safety. For Russ if might be the fear of change, that life is demanding he change how he has done things for 80+ years. And as I have said before, he lives the disease and I watch it. The impact of that alone requires different approaches.
We both have a bit of dogged determination in us, but if our stubbornness were to be examined I suspect my approach is fixed and set with purpose, his safety. That sometimes does not allow for his personal dignity or adjustment, for his feeling of ownership in the situation.
I used to consider myself open and flexible. I used to be really easy going. Note the operative words 'used to'. I began this post thinking I would write about how PD creates a stubbornness by the very fact of the endless small good-byes it demands of the patient. But I see in my words the reality is the opposite at our house.
Russ is a master of appeasement, supportive and caring of me and avoiding undue conflict. Of course there are moments of total frustration on his part because that is life. We are all stubborn about a few things now and then. We each have those issues or moments when we stand indignantly behind our "NO".
I guess in reality it doesn't matter which of us is stubborn as long as we take turns.