My friend Kate sent me a link to a blog she follows called 'The Contemplative Life' written by a friend of a friend. I loved the post by (person unknown) relating compost to life. As we slip old pieces into the soil, they ferment and become new. How amazing is that?
Leaving my job of 13+ years feels very much like composting. It is taking what is old and used and saving it to the point of becoming new life. I am praying it will be about renewed energy; taking who I was and renewing that energy to support Russ. I hope that by holding the tension (blog author's word and I love it!), ruminating on it and allowing it to gently decompose, I can ease myself into new life.
I am certain I have lived the before, am in the midst of the middle and I have no idea of the new, the future. I am seeking the clear line of work before resignation and new life at home.
"Maybe this is what we need to know in this time and space, not the clarity and comfort of the either/or, but the difficult acceptance of both/and. The truth that there are no easy answers and that much of our experience is co-mingled - joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, love and hate, hope and despair."