This was the post:
I am looking to walk beside someone you love that needs minimal help. I walked 10 years beside my husband who had Parkinson’s Disease. I am good at games, distractions, ‘adventures’, and support. I am good with daily routines. I am good at being the support you might need so you can have some time to yourself. I understand the strain of loving someone who is fading before you.
I charge $20/hour, have my own car and prefer to work in Durango. If this message greets you with possibilities, please message me and we can talk about safe, reliable and personal care.
And just so you all know... I am honored and pleased and blown away with the many folks from our past who have responded. Russ was an amazing man and walked a degenerative disease with grace... he gifted me daily with his living example.
I have been taking a gentleman on adventures each week for the last 6 months. He's funny, quick witted, an accomplished banjo player, very set in his ways, a 'gentle' packrat, a friend of the environment and quite fun to hang out with. He is not real happy to be living in assisted living, but has made huge strides in adjusting. Obviously when you add my minimalist ways (clean surfaces, clean sink, weekly laundry, see the table top) to his need to save the earth (by saving left over food, pieces of paper, completed Sudoku books, old napkins to use again and again...), there have been some adjustments for both of us. He has a hard time throwing 'anything' away. Slowly we are coming up with strategies that 'I' hope will become ingrained in his day to day.
His amazing kids needed to step in to be sure he was safe, eating and had a commody of cleanliness and care. He has that now living in an assisted living complex. And the more I have hung out with him, the more I realize he and I gift one another; I can help him find 'light' outside his small apartment and he gifts me with his time and helping me to reach towards something new.
I guess one thing I have discerned from this is that home care is a tough role to fill. The bigger companies require a minimum number of hours and charge $38.00+/hr. Their overhead is far larger and I understand their policies, but when we were first starting to need minimum care that was too much. Fortunately for us we found Tanya... our queen of friendship, care and guidance. I model myself after her.
It would be naive of me to say that everyone's journey in care is similar to ours. It would not be truthful to say it is easy, smooth and a wonderful experience. Everyone will face challenges: the family, the person who needs care and the caregiver. But with communication and some flexibility on everyone's part the journey CAN be wrapped in gratitude.
In my current care situation we all agree that some level of care is needed. We may not agree in what instances exactly, but are willing to ask questions and willing to listen. As I left the assisted living center today, he and I discussed our different approaches to the world and daily living. I am a bit of a clean freak (his thought) and he feels as long as he is washing dishes with soapy wanter he never has to actually wash the dish cloth. Different perspectives.
In this new year we will learn together, how to find joy away from his home of many years.
An ode to both of us as we gain ground and understanding...