At her memorial service Pastor Jeff shared a story:
"I have with me a butterfly kite. The butterfly is symbol of transformation that we often use in times like these, because we believe that while ‘your mother’ is no longer with us in body, she is with God and we can still experience her presence in our thoughts and hearts.
There was a boy who was about your age when his mom died. The boy kept thinking of his mom and feeling sad and so his grandpa took him out to the park one day with a kite. Without saying much, the grandpa let the kite go out while his grandson held the string. Since there was a good wind, the kite went soaring.
The grandpa encouraged the son to let the kite out farther and farther until it was just as speck in the sky. The boy and his grandpa just sat silently and watched the kite for a while. Then some low-lying clouds moved in front of the kite and they couldn’t see it anymore. The grandpa said, “Where did the kite go? I can’t see it anymore.”
The boy replied, “It’s still their grandpa.”
“How do you know?” asked the grandpa.
“Because,” said the boy, “I can feel the tug.”
“Exactly,” said the grandpa. “When you feel the tug, you know your mom is with you, just like you know the kite is still there.”
Pastor Jeff then said, someday, I hope you can fly the kite and when you feel a tug, remember the feeling. Carry the feeling with you so when you feel a 'mom tug' you will know she is right there with you. The tugs are reminders and whether they are memories of laughter or tears, remember... each tug is a gift from God reminding you of your mom's love.
The following day I told Jeff the power of that imager for me. I told him what a gift that would have meant to me at that same young age when my mom died, to have something to hold on to. Instead I stood in the back of the classroom (a la 1960) and heard "oh she won't be here, her mother just died yesterday." I wish I had Pastor Jeff and his care for life and death surrounding me in that youthful time of grief.
After sharing my response to his story and care to this child facing the death of his mother I returned to work the next day and found a kite dangling by my desk. Since that day it has hung in my closet and is a constant reminder of those who have died before me; friends and family I love, who have invested in me and left me with pieces of themselves for me to emulate.
Each visual touch of the butterfly shouts 'love' and 'connection'. It is a gift to my heart.
Jeff's faith, intuitive understanding and sheer brilliance in helping people cope has gifted me again and again. As Russ and I walk this path of Parkinson's it is also leading me into the future. We are blessed.