We built our Vermont house with the help of one guy. Nights and weekends we would be out there working towards completion after work. Building the 1980 house was partially a budget decision, well mostly a budget decision, but we were fortunate that Russ was a builder. Working nights and weekends as well as a full-time job was draining on both of us. It took us about 9 months of dedication to build the house, building the basics with room to add some upgrades when we could afford them.
Each night before dinner we would have a toast, sharing with one another a joy, an observation, a need or a prayer. The night after Russ' first dish duty, his toast was "Here's to the dishwasher being delivered and installed tomorrow". No lie, that is exactly what he said! He suddenly realized that dishes were no fun so lets get a machine do the work.
Do you have tasks that you prefer to put on hold, to procrastinate from starting? Wouldn't it be great if we only did what our hearts wanted to do each minute of the day? No matter how motivated we are, we all have some tasks we don't like to do. There are all kinds of reasons for that; perhaps they are boring, pointless, draining, too time consuming, or annoying. As a senior citizen I feel I have a different approach to this than many younger people. I don't think it is something I have made a conscious decision about; I think it was engrained in my work ethic by the modeling I witnessed growing up.
As I have repeatedly said "life is not all about me" and that means I have to be flexible and be a part of a team, sharing in the full spectrum of needs that create our life. That means if there is a task I'm facing that I don't want to do I can work through my options of run, to find a distraction or just know that it is part of being in a family (or an employee or a friend).
Thinking life is ideal is over-rated. Leave that fantasy behind, acknowledging that life is not free of discomfort, confusion, embarrassment or perfection. The reality is we are a team and every day there will be a task I would prefer not to do.
This post came about because last week I noticed that the bottom sheet had a tear. Sheets are expensive! They are one of those things that I don't like buying, especially KING sheets. Rather than spend well over $100- I decided to repair the sheet by patching it. I had been procrastinating for a week trying to run from it. If I continued on that path I was going to have to spend some money and in my aggressively frugal state of mind (saving for our unknown expenses) I finally buckled down and got out the sewing machine, taking on the job I didn't want to do.
What are some of the jobs I would prefer weren't in my life?
- changing the bed
- trash day and bringing bins out for collection
- weekly floor cleaning
- cleaning the shower
- baking
- various medical needs that need tending to
But countering all that are the daily tasks I like to do:
- I enjoy shoveling snow and being outside.
- I love to cook... it's calming.
- I enjoy sitting on my porch swing reading.
- I love calling my family to catch up with life.
- I love to see Russ happy because I have thought ahead to make some small part of his life easier.
- I am always happy with a newly washed car, all gleaming.
- I am always happy to go to the library and keep is supplied in books.
- Even grocery shopping can be fun!
My goal is to be grateful for the jobs I enjoy and for the jobs I don't enjoy, find peace in making our life comfortable.