I need to keep focused on the fact that we are in this for the long haul, knowing our job will continue to change and shift, but always with same goal of compassion and safety. I need to remember that Russ and I are both going through continual changes, sometimes for the same reason at the same time. But it is not as simple as that. Russ is going through it as a person with Parkinson's trying to keep up with the endless small good-byes his body and brain demand of him. At the same time I am watching his decline as his caregiver, on emotion patrol.
Life has not been easy on us lately, so we need to be one another's reminder. Through our partnership we are managing to keep our heads above water.... with a lot of help from our friends! We need to be supportive of one another, pipping in with "be patient, breathe". We need to trust in one another, trust in the course we have chosen. Needless to say we need to let go of expectations we have created for ourselves, and accept the reality we are living.
So much of what happens within the reality of Parkinson's are ushered in because of the disease and not directed specifically at one of us. That's the exhausting part of PD, nothing can be planned on because the next second or minute or hour or day will morph into something completely new. The intention comes from the disease, not a person. Remember that! Things happen in an instant and everything is different.
And also remember that after 42 years of you and me, we can keep on being you and me. We each need to be brave enough to keep going. Days have their highs and lows and occasionally one leads to the bottom of the pit, dark and scary. When we are pushed to our limits we must lean into those scary moments, reaching forward, moving forward and not giving up.
A few gentle reminders we can live by are
- Use kind words when we talk to ourselves
- Remember to dream even if we can't carry them to fruition
- Laugh and Love
- Allow yourself to cry and it doesn't have to be in private, be honest
- Keep growing and learning
- Use your gifts freely
- Just
- Keep
- Going