We get comfortable when we know what to expect and how we should respond. With Parkinson's that is generally not an option. The longest our 'stability' seems to last is several months, not several years. Every few months there is some sort of game changer and it usually happens without our knowledge, then comes a moment when we know there is a new path to follow.
Listening to her words in my car as I drove through the beauty of our Colorado town, I just knew that I often focus on the wrong thing. I waste time chasing an empty obsession, trying to make things look 'right', be the way they used to be, keep up with others ideas of how life should be lived. But that is not our life. Period. I knew, just as I was in the driver's seat, I needed to be in the driver's seat of life. It was up to me to have a mind shift and to stop trying to convince other people that our life style hadn't changed.
I have said before that I need to be real for others. This small gift will allow them, in some difficult time in life to be 'OK' with things being different. With media in our hands more hours in a day than not, we see perfection flaunted endlessly at us. Whether it is a news feed, Pinterest, Instagram, Face Book or friends sharing, it is generally the 'pretty stuff', not the messiness of life. Freeing myself to embrace 'us' makes us human, but listening to Joanna showed me I have a ways to go yet.
I know in my heart that waiting around for life to be like it was is just a mind game. I have two choices each day when I wake and when I lay my head on the pillow, to love or to run.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I owe it to Russ and myself to live the greatest life we are capable of living now, even if that means it is different than what others perceive we should be doing. We do not need to live other's ideas of retirement perfection. We need to be people who thrive and interact with the world differently from those who live in a state of survival.
The folks who go to PD classes choose THRIVE. There are 3 local Davis Phinney sponsored exercise classes given each week here in Durango. I am proud of each one of these folks. If they show up it means they choose thrive. If they try something a bit too tough for them, they choose thrive. If they talk to another person, they choose thrive. If they reach beyond uncomfortable, they choose thrive. Though their first motivation is to maintain mobility, they gift one another just by showing up. Each one of them inspires me!
QUESTION FOR YOU...
I started a blog post today about "survive vs thrive". How goes it with you? Are you solidly one or the other? Do you vacillate day by day, moment by moment? Do you make a conscious effort to thrive? Or is it all just happening around you and you feel helpless to change the path? I would love to hear your thoughts.
One answer in particular astonished me, inspired me and clinched the idea that no matter what is happening in your life, thriving IS POSSIBLE!,
Marty's answer:
The last 18 months have been stressful: my husband had a detached retina and surgery...I fell and broke my ankle (surgery & 8 weeks in cast)...hubby had prostate surgery and spent 5 weeks on IV...we built a new house and moved to Florida with my 92 year old mother...my mother broke her hip and spent 3 mos in rehab...my sister in law came to visit and died during her visit...and my husband will be undergoing DBS assessment next month...
And yet—we are sort of “thriving.” We love Florida...our new home is sooo PD friendly...and we’ve made so many new friends in the PD groups we’ve joined. We’re busy...my husband seems content and as healthy as can be expected ...and, so far, there isn’t any dementia.
I would even go so far as to say we’re “happy.” I know it may be fleeting, but I’ll take it.
Marty inspires me to dig deep, let the little things go and strive to thrive. And where are you in life? Surviving or thriving?