That was my day yesterday, a no good, very bad day. That is not entirely true though because in fact, all along the way, every bad beginning was followed by a wonderful gift, a kindness, a blessing.
Here's my story.
No good, very bad:
The alarm rang at 6AM because Russ had an 8:45 chiropractor appointment. Morning routines take longer now and we don't like being late to appointments. We do not like chaotic starts to our day. At our house we not only like to be awake physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. I threw us off big time by 'loosing' an hour, hurrying Russ through bathing, dressing and eating and suddenly realizing we were an hour ahead of schedule. We waste a bit of time at home and then go the long way to Chris' office so we can stop at the bakery for bread. We arrive at 8:43 for our 8:45 appointment. Perfect.
Except it wasn't perfect. The appointment was for 8:30, we were late and they could not fit us in. I stood in the waiting room crying. My day was starting out no good and very bad.
The angel among us:
Oh they were so sweet, so concerned and ready to see where they could squeeze us in. Chris and his staff are 'the best'. Rather then mess up their day completely, we would come back at 5:15.
No good, very bad:
Ah, but now we needed to waste time between this appointment and going to the rec center for PD swim class. We live 'just' too far out of town to dash home. We decided to go to the paint store and buy paint for my wall project.
Walking in the door of Colors Inc., the paint guy is all cheery. "Good morning, how's your day?" To which I replied (rather teary) "It's quite crappy actually". He got all kind and caring and 'really' wanted to know. I said "I'm sorry, it has been a rough beginning; my husband has Parkinson's and it has been a really difficult morning. Thanks for your care."
The angel among us:
We talked paint finishes and he suggested I take my sunglasses off to see gloss vs satin vs matte vs eggshell. I told him I wouldn't take them off because he would see just how tough my day started from teary eyes. We decided on the finish. He made the paint, I handed him my cc and he handed it back. He would NOT take it! "I want your day to improve. The paint is on us"!!!!
Every time my soul is hurting and my heart breaking, every time I am vulnerable with a stranger, the stranger steps up and gifts me in some way. It totally softens life's struggles.
No good, very bad:
Now for swim class. I get us all set up. Sometimes it is hard when one of the students is having an unbalanced day or their meds aren't working. Sometimes there are other people in the pool who splash a bit or invade our space. And sometimes one of the students has to pee and class stops. And then once we rally again, the same student has to pee again, class stops again and the same disruptive cycle begins again.
The angel among us:
Obviously this is not about me. This is about a brain not functioning the way it used to. This is about a body deteriorating. Yet another student says to me "By the power of suggestion, I need to pee too." Now it becomes funny; a not so subtle reminder that we cannot demand perfection and obedience from our bodies. PD is unpredictable, there is no normal.
No good, very bad:
I look up from my computer and see we have exactly the right amount of time to get to Russ' dentist appointment. "We have to leave NOW honey!" As I said, hurry is no longer in our repertoire. We head to town and do not find a nearby parking spot, so I must park illegally, get Russ out of the car, wheel him into the building to wait in the lobby for me as I circle a few blocks until a space opens up. A bright spot here is that we had time to do this.
The angel among us:
We are on time, but the patient before us took a bit longer. We are able to calm dawn.
No good, very bad:
Now, since I blew the morning chiropractor timing, we have 40 minutes to kill between Russ' dentist appointment and seeing Chris. So we sit in the car and discuss "what would you want someone to know about Parkinson's if they were newly diagnosed?
The angel among us:
We are on time for the appointment. WooHoo, I did something right today! Chris' assistant is extra sweet, caring for my faltering disposition. Chris gifts us with the appointment.
More angels:
Through the day I would imagine there were probably 8+ people who held doors for us. Sometimes I would ask if they might help, but always they did so happily. People care. People give. People love. When I am experiencing a no good and very bad day like I experienced yesterday, I need to be mindful of the angels I meet and find moments to acknowledge my gratitude,
Let us be the examples of hope, by being a model, by receiving the grace of others, by being open to the possibilities that through the no good and very bad, angels do appear.