I heard a phrase today- 'It is harder to treat a man's spirit than his body'. I would say, given our last couple of weeks, that's very true. Outer body wounds can heal, but our psyches can struggle unknown and unseen to others. And what do Russ and I struggle with as a couple? Peace. Tranquility. Acceptance. Future. Possibilities. And not expecting more from the other than is possible. Russ is trying, I am trying. Sadly his basal ganglia hasn't caught on to that message. The basal ganglia talks to many other parts of the brain. It is associated with a variety of functions including: control of voluntary motor movements, learning, routine behaviors or 'habits' of cognitions and emotion. In other words it's all the basal ganglia's fault that life has become difficult! I've gotta say, it is calming to 'blame' it on something, the brain indeed! When your biology changes, so can your decision-making and your desires, so too your energy and focus, and in Russ' case your mobility. With this degenerative disease It is far more beneficial to understand Russ is trying and...if he could, he would. The failing basal ganglia triggers a cascade of functional changes and we are on the ride to 'keep up'.
On and off through our life together I have left cards on his pillow, in his lunch box or at the table for his breakfast. I found one today.... "YOU WILL FOREVER BE MY ALWAYS". And there you have it. He is forever my always. But smoothing those PD edges, connecting with one another in a place of love and respect, and choosing to see both the dragon and the life of a leaf must be our guidepost.
We must look beyond the obvious.