I have a word for the year - RELEASE. This house is all about that. I had to release expectations, ideas of what I thought I needed, location...just about everything. My new house is very plain on the outside, but the inside is all about light and comfort. Though small, it has 12' ceilings, lots of light and fabulous outdoor space. Mark, the former owner, was meticulous and had amazing design ideas. I'm excited to get started finding 'me' in this space.
I wonder...how can you be happy and sad at the same time? My only answer to that is that if you are me, it's possible. I can't even put it into a timeline. I began to write 'it's been a rough 6 months' and realized I needed to question that...is it 6 months, 2 years, Russ' last 5 years, plus the 2 he has been gone? Does it matter? I just know that I have had to dig deep to find the courage to make some decisions. There is absolutely no similarity between the two houses either inside or outside. Perhaps that's a good thing...I'll let you know in a year. My Durango house, on the left, was all about Russ. He filled it both in love and personality. That house made his last years manageable, an ADA home, a gift beyond measure. My new Tucson house was a completely independent decision; a first in my life, making a decision with only me in mind. Always in the past, I was considering someone else's feelings or needs. This decision is all me. I have a word for the year - RELEASE. This house is all about that. I had to release expectations, ideas of what I thought I needed, location...just about everything. My new house is very plain on the outside, but the inside is all about light and comfort. Though small, it has 12' ceilings, lots of light and fabulous outdoor space. Mark, the former owner, was meticulous and had amazing design ideas. I'm excited to get started finding 'me' in this space. Perhaps my smiles (true joy) are rare these days. Many people commented that I looked 'so happy' in this photo. This is brother Ron and his wife Gail and I having a bubbly toast after closing on the house yesterday. In that moment it really was 'true joy', but throughout the process of finding, inspecting, paying, and closing on this house, it was shadowed with missing Russ and knowing he wasn't here to help me make the decision. I do know that just about every object, furniture, painting, tool or decorative item will have a memory of Russ attached... so yes, a broken/happy heart with Russ sharing the space with me in spirit.
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